Goodbye 2010
2010 is a great year with a lot stuff being my first time.

First year in my official teaching career.

First year driving my own car.

First time buying mutual fund and stocks.

First time go Sabah and tried out padas white water rafting.

and a lot more that I forgotten. Hopefully 2011 will be a wonderful year like 2010. Happy new year.

买了没起，起了没买。哈哈哈。
(I buy 1 no up, up 1 I no buy)

It's been a month since I started on my stock investment. Till now I bought in 3 shares, the first one I bought is MAHSING. I wonder why i bought it since the price hardly rise。 Recall back, may be I am too excited to earn money till I simply buy without doing much research. But I believe it is just a matter of time before it earns me money because I believe there are still people out there to buy the properties they build.

Because lack of capital, I only manage to add up new stocks after getting my pay. This time I am going to play safe so I picked high dividend yield share which is REIT that mostly offer around 7% dividend every year. I pick STAREIT that most probably going to give dividend on January 2011. Consider not bad since fixed deposit only offer 2.75%.

Besides this, I also wanna try my luck on some cheap stock. For this, I pick some cheap company related to oil and gas which is DAYA. I hope the company really got DAYA( Force) to go up. Haha.

As I learn along the way, I should have look into some of the research from these blogs that really look like pro before buying a share:

http://timcheeso.blogspot.com/search/label/non-plantation%20but%20own%20plantation%28on%204%20june%2009%29

http://tengkhan.blogspot.com/

http://klselivefeed.blogspot.com/

Advice from Loso Teacher, U better study it before U buy stocks. Else ur money can say bye bye to U any time. Hahaha. May the FORCE be with U.

My saga is officially 1 year old

16 December is the date I got my car last year. So far I am still satisfy with it although there are some weaknesses that I cannot ignore.

Hmm, first of all, if you wanna look for a fuel efficient car, you have think twice before you pick saga. Consider my meter already achieve the digit shown in the picture below, let me count how much I spent on feeding it this year.
As an average, Rm10 fuel can drive this car around 55km.

The total amount of money I used for fuel this year would be
= 12805/55 x 10
= RM2328. 18

Consider my pay each month slightly higher than that figure, how can I ignore this scary fuel consumption if fuel price continue to rise. So here, I would like to let you know, buying a car is only a liability and not an asset since you wound need to continue feeding it.

Other than that, car only devalue and the amount is reducing in fast pace. I bought this car for RM44545 and now market value is only set on RM39000. I just cannot wait to settle my loan as soon as possible so that I can invest my money rather than spending on my car that continue to reduce in value. For those of you who wanna buy car, remember don't spend much on luxurious car and look for a fuel efficient options.

Mr Loso looking for money- part 4

Haha...After so much time looking only, finally I bought my first stock. It is very exciting moment for me when I click on BUY.

Stocks- A term that I dono why when I mention of it, most people keep on warning me to be careful. Lol. Actually why so many people scare of it? It is by far the best investment method if you study it carefully.

Stock is only dangerous if you buy blindly which can be said as gambling. Of course gambling will not be considered as investment.

Though I haven't make any money from stock, let me share some experience with you on how to purchase stock.

Before you can start buying stock, you need to open a CDS account which is purposely for purchasing and selling stocks. You can apply this account from CIMB, Maybank, Public Bank or OSK. I personally chose CIMB I Trade since it offers me cheap trading charges that only around 0.2% or RM12. To make it easier to understand, recently I bought 8 lots of stock costing RM1456 and CIMB I trade only charged me RM16.

To apply CIMB I trade, you need to go only CIMB I Trade center and not ordinary CIMB bank. Please bring along your bank book preferably CIMB saving account, Ic and RM10. You can search for further information from this website: http://www.itradecimb.com.my/ . You can try the demo version as well and learn along the way.

There is a lot of websites that offer all kind of information on stocks. I personally using some of these to assist me, hopefully it can help you as well if you are interested.

http://www.oomoney.com/category/cold_eye/
( a website that teaches slowly on how to pick a good stocks with its ROE, PE, DY and NTA.)

http://www.klse.com.my/website/bm/market_information/prices/index.jsp
( a website displaying the stock price and its recent financial report)

http://biz.thestar.com.my/
( Star online newspaper that doing good job in providing information on business and stock report)

So I end this with a Chinese saying that I found very meaningful to share with you:
你不理财，财不理你。

Mr Loso looking for money- part 3

After collecting certain amount of capital, the next stuff I look for is how to invest it. The first method I know is by fixed deposit which I thought at first the safest and should be able to earn me some money.

As I grew older, I find out this simply make the bank earning even more money yet I am only given a little bit interest. The interest rate is normally easily outrun by deficit. If you don't get the meaning of deficit, try to compare what you can buy with RM1 ten years ago with now. So, what for keep in bank if you know it is going to devalue?

So, I have learn something new this year which is to invest in mutual fund. If you wanna know more about any mutual fund, you can refer to the "mutual fund encyclopedia" website:
http://www.invest.com.my/personal/funds/

The first mutual fund I invested is from Public Mutual. As time goes by, I bought in 3 mutual funds which perform vary from each other. Some make me 9% earning while some even less than 1%. As average, I manage to make 5% profit from it so far which is at least higher than 2.75% from fixed deposit.

One advice for you guys who wanna invest, make sure this money is some extra pocket money that you won't be using up till 3 years or longer. This is just to make sure that you can keep in the mutual fund long enough till it earns you some money. You can refer to this page for price of each unit from Public Mutual.
http://www.publicmutual.com.my/application/fund/detail.aspx

So, how to start? You can actually buy through any agent that you can trust on or simpy straight go to any Public Bank or Public Mutual Center. For some more information, please refer:
http://www.publicmutual.com.my/

There are methods in making money from mutual fund which you can dig from a lot websites including this Chinese Cari website:
http://cforum2.cari.com.my/forumdisplay.php?fid=241

One of the most popular method is to do regular top up each month. This method ensure the price of the fund you bought in will be averaged down that deter you from buying a mutual fund with higher price when economy is doing good.

Keep an eye from time to time and invest more when the mutual fund drop, it will allow you to buy in more units and return you with higher profits. To avoid tedious work, you can apply online banking and online mutual fund account which available for Public Bank and Public Mutual.

Mr Loso looking for money part 2

Since lottery is not the method, I start to think about second way which is the most popular method among teachers- tuition. I have been giving tuition since back in university time but just for some pocket money.

Hmm, after one year teaching, tuition is not as easy as I thought it would be. First thing you will encounter is to find a vacancy. Normally there are two options- home tuition or tuition center.

Lets talk about home tuition first. The advantage of home tuition are as below:
a) normally only one or two person so less distraction.
b) pay is negotiable which can earn you at least rm20 per hour.

The disadvantage of home tuition:
a) rather hard to find especially if you are new teacher.
b) high expectation from parents.

For tuition center. The advantages are:
a) easy to find vacancy, a lot new center looking for school teachers.
b) no need to worry about number of students, there will increase from time to time.

The disadvantage of tuition center:
a) pay is being divided according to portion either 50:50 or 40:60 so less pay if few students.
b) students quality are hard to control.
c) a lot distraction especially for younger students who like to play.

Both of these have pros and cons, but tuition definitely is the perfect option to earn some extra money.

Mr Loso looking for money....Part 1

Money not enough!!! Think I am not the only person who think like that. Looking back 1 year I have been working, my account still only 4 digits. Haiz. When can I get rich?

Though people use to say be teacher only "cukup makan" (enough eat) but I believe everyone have the equal rights to get rich regardless of what field he involved in.

When there is a will, there is a way. I turn my first hope on something quite impossible. Lottery. Hmmm. U might think why is it impossible when there are persons out there already getting rich with millions after winning the jackport. So here, let Loso teacher count the probability of winning lottery ticket for you.

For example, the tickets with four digits.
Sample space= 10x 10x 10 x 10 = 10000 ( There are 10 possible digits from 0-9 )
There are actually 10000 possible combination for 4 digits, meaning if you buy any XXXX,
the probability of winning= 1/10000 = 0.0001

The tickets with six digits.
Sample space = 10 x10 x10 x10 x10 x10= 1000000
the probability of winning= 1/1000000= 0.000001


So as you can see the more digits, the lesser the probability of winning. Yet, I keep on seeing people buying as if they are very confident in winning it. I wonder how to get my hand on such shop selling the tickets rather than buying it. Imagine with a piece of ticket that only cost not even 10 cent and the probability of winning so few. It is definitely the tauke selling that is the winner. Below I share short video clips of famous Singapore movie about lottery.




Haha....Definitely this is not the proper route to get rich. I will share again with you in part 2 what I have done in my quest of finding money.

If you got 20 million...

Haha, I bet everyone sure dream of being rich before. Well, Loso teacher me of course like money. Before becoming a teacher, I used to aim being a rich man. Though people say money is the root of evil, I rather get rich than being poor. However, I just don't know how to get rich.

Before long, I come across newspaper with advertisement mentioning jackport which accumulate till 20 millions. Wah, that's really tempting. Imagine if I can have that 20 millions, I will be certainly a rich man. With the law of attraction, I knew that I would have to buy myself some jackport tickets before I can have my chance for that money.

After find here find there, look up look down, finally I found some uncles selling such tickets. Haha. I wonder why always old uncles selling such tickets especially if you are from west Malaysia, they will always come to you when you are having your meal.

I pick blindly because I know any number will have the equal probability to win. Then, I wait and wait for the day to come. Looking at the ticket, I start my day dreaming again.

Hmmm. If I have 20 millions, the first question come to me- Will I still be Loso teacher? Haha. With that kind of money, I think I can live happily even just shake shake leg back home. How many of us will still working if you haven 20 millions? Haha.

So here, I would like to ask you. Would you give up 20 milions for your job? If you say "YES", then I congrats you for having the career of your life. But how many of us will say "YES"? Haha. Try think about it.

Benefits of being teacher

Very soon, there will be another batch of new teachers coming in. I guess you must be wondering what are there to explore especially benefits of being teacher. Haha. Of course when you pick your career, you must have at least some interest in it and of course career benefit is a must as well.

First of all, I think all should know "holidays" is always the best benefit for teachers. Let say for example for the year 2011, school days are only 210 days out of whole year of total 365 days. That means we have 155 off days. Woo hoo......Who don't like holidays anywhere? Haha.

Then, lets explore the pay of being a new teacher. Most of the new teachers nowadays probably have a bachelor degree with honours. So you will be posted with gred DC41 P1t5 with your starting pay listed as below:

Basic for DC41- P1T5= RM1901.8
Allowance = RM 300+ 300
Total = RM 2501.8

The above is only a rough figure for you as a new teacher as some of the allowance varies with the state you are teaching, for example Sarawakian will have state allowance which is 17% of their basic and increase along with the basic while for West Malaysia only have COLA which fixed at RM300 per month. So after deducted from KWSP, you should have around RM23++ which not bad at all for new university graduates.


Then after some time around half a year, you will be called for an interview that is a crucial process for you to be confirmed in your post as a permanent teacher. Remember DC41 is only a temporary teacher where you will not get the extra benefits of being permanent like borrowing money from government to buy house and so on.

Of course, the most obvious benefit after being confirmed is to have extra allowance called housing allowance which is around RM250 each month and your grade will switch to DG41 P1T4. By then, your pay will rise again around 300 making the total around 26++ after deducted from KWSP. I think this pay is almost the same as being a new engineer.

There are some more other allowance if you get to be sent inter state for example you are Penang kia and you are send to Sarawak or even into the remote area which classified as P1- Rm500, P2- Rm 1000 and P3- Rm1500. The most will be at Sabah which I myself not clear about it. There are some more allowance if you going to teach English, Science and Maths called as BISP which around 5% of your basic. All you need is just explore along the way. So who say being teacher not good? Haha. Think again. I guess you just didn't find it out the details.

Steel Bowl Vs Glass Bowl

Hmmm....When you step into teaching, people always congrates you for having a "steel bowl". Guess many will understand if you are a government servant. Work is secure and will have a steady income. Though some post will have slightly some terms and conditions but mostly it will be very safe till you retire and get your pension.

When I receive the news of being tutor, i see this as an opportunity to gain better future. Yet after some time making it clear, tutor post can simply be explained as "glass bowl"- nice to see, nice to hold, once broken consider sold. Haha. This is what i always saw in the shops that display a lot glass items.


Though it is a really good opportunity, yet it promises me nothing but a contract of 2 years. Plus one of the terms-“ You may be terminated any time without any reason”， really make me stunned some time. This "glass bowl" may crack any time. Haha. It may look nice and beautiful from appearance but it is full of risks.



Guess I am just not the type that can take this risk and go for it. I wonder if after 2 years and become jobless, what can I do? I have considered a lot and asked a lot people. Some encourage me and some consult me. Thanks to all my friends for your advice. I am also thankful for being given this opportunity for me to consider deeply. Now is time for me to look into my job and make sure I be the best form. I end this with some Chinese saying as below.

选你所爱，爱你所选，行行出状元。。。。。。

Never cry for spilled milk.

Well, I do have some couples of memories that I regret of. It is always because I made the wrong choice and I did the wrong stuff. But the past will never change again so it is useless to waste time and think about it.

Now a similar situation occurs to me again. It happens to me that the post I applied months ago finally give me a green light and I am offered being a tutor in a local university with promise on free master study. This is really tempting. Though the teaching life for me now is very comfortable and I am kind of indulge myself with the benefits. I still feel some part inside me empty, I want something more, may be it is the job satisfaction or the need to gain back my passion for working.

Here I list down some of the benefits for both of the choices.

Benefit of being teacher	Benefit of being tutor
1. Holiday a lot. A lot time to go for vacation. 2. Pay is quite high and working hour is very short. 3. Easy work specification. 4. Steady life and easy to master the syllabus. 5. Can earn extra through tuition.	1. Free study for master. 2. Possible to have better students. 3. Possible higher job satisfaction. 4. Possible higher pay next time. 5. Challenging life. 6. Continuous learning. 7. More promote opportunity. 8. Wilder career scope. 9. Route full of ambitious.

And of course, everything is not perfect and of course there will be accompanied with the negative side any of the choice. Here I list down some.

Negative of being teacher	Negative of being a tutor
1. Rather bored life with everyday seeing the same naughty students. 2. Slow increase in pay next time. 3. Lack of motivation towards working. 4. Need to in charge for sport and extra core curricular.	1. Most of the benefits are only “possible”. 2. Possible of highest stress. 3. Never know what will happen next. 4. A route full of no promises. 5. Possible of being fire within tutor contract period.

Hmmm…..I still have 5 more days for me to decide. Though at first I feel like going for tutor. But after thinking through, there are too much possible outcomes for that route, yet if I pick and continue be a teacher, will I regret again? Mr Loso is in dilemma

不要认为自己没有用

ANGRY

Anger always bring devastating effect. Its a terrible feeling yet many just cannot control their emotion when anger come.

I used to have anger as my motivation to be better. The last time I got angry, I went learn swimming and now a competent swimmer after a friend critic me. That don't sound so bad at all. But now, I am kind of regret why I got angry so easily, leaving behind bad image and nothing benefit at all during my Sabah trip.


I also clueless about the reason I angry for, may be it is envy, may be it is just I care too much on what people say especially friends. I should have enjoy myself to the fullest and have fun with these friends that seldom met with each other after graduation.


I think now I just angry at myself for being angry and compare myself with others. Haha. So I will use this to motivate myself for better EQ and try my best not to get angry again. Anger is just for loser. And certainly Mr Loso dont want to become Mr Loser. Haha.

A meaningful story.

Five children were playing a wishing game. Each had a chance to have a go at it. Each had to answer “if you have a wish, what will it be?” The child with the best wish would win. Here was what each said…

Child #1: I’m going to wish for a McDonalds Burger. *Smacking his lips* Make it double everything!

Child #2: I’m going to top that. I wish that I own a McDonalds restaurant. Then, I can have as many burgers as I want.

Child #3: That’s an easy wish to beat. I’m going to wish for one billion dollars. That way, I can easily afford a McDonalds restaurant, all the video games I can have and lastly, I can buy a school so that I don’t have to turn up for classes if I don’t wish to.


Now Child #4 was a smart kid. He wanted all that his friends have wished. He thought carefully before answering.

Child #4: If I have a wish, I’m going to wish for three more wishes. With my first wish, I am going to ask for a McDonalds restaurant. With my second, I’m going to wish for one billion dollars. With my third, I’m going to wish for another three more wishes. That way, I can go on forever! Child #4 felt smug for he thought he was brilliant. The first three friends thought he was a genius too. What can possibly be superior to a wish for an infinity of wishes? They were not quite prepared for the best answer of them all.

The answer from the fifth child. Here was what he said…. “If I have a wish, I am going to wish that I will be so content that I do not need any more wishes.”

Never again

Its my second time watching a movie from the first row, I am quite sure there won't be third time. It is really awful feeling of staring screen that close with sound system exploding your ear. Your eye will be busy catching the action here and there. You cannot adjust the seat and that you must hold your shoulder as straight as possible to watch. What a waste, I paid money to get myself suffer. Even worst is bringing some friend along to accompany me suffer. Oh, so embarrassing, never again.

A day with the parents.
This is my second time being a teacher meeting with the parents. Know what? Some scenario really make me don't know cry or laugh.

Scenario 1
This grandpa complain to me that his grandson just don't want to come to school and would rather sleep at home. So he ask me how to make him come to school? Haha....I am only a teacher, if family members also cannot make him come to school, can teachers?

Scenario 2
This student score almost all E in his exam. I made a joke with his parents. If E stands for Excellence, then his child is awesome but too bad in Malaysia E stand for very weak. However, parents do understand their child's condition and hopefully he can change his behaviour.

Scenario 3
Here come another type of family that ask for money. Well, schools are not banks. Don't use your child to become money tree. Please la.

Scenario 4
Some parents that are too "democratic" that to let the child decide for themselves. They told me if their child willing to study, then it is good but if them didn't, it is no big deal also. Haha...Think it is no big deal for me as well. Haha.

Scenario 5
When I warn some parents of their child involve with some bad stuff, they actually show me some helpless look as well that they can do nothing to control their child.

And many more situation.....Think if parents cannot help their own child, can teachers? So before you decide to have a family and any children, please think clearly if you can raise them up properly. Don't just let them be as if it has nothing to do with you. Parents need to show concern and cooperate with teachers. I really hope these kids can have a better future tomorrow.

D Day I know What is SPR

Wah...When I first first know when I will be posted, I am so ki teong where I will be send to. I always imagine some deep deep jungle waiting for me and I need to live like Tarzan's life. I am so scare of crossing river because there are crocodile here and there in Sarawak river. Every now and then sure got people become crocs' meal.

Lucky me, I got it just 25km from my home so I am si beh happy. (Yeah, no need crossing river. Haha.) But very soon, I find out my school is SPR so I start to wonder...

Hmmm...
SPR - Suruhan Pencegah Rasuah?
- Suruhan Pilihan Raya?

and bla bla la......
But nothing I can think of that got connection with schools.

End up the real meaning is Sekolah Prestasi Rendah. Wah, I think d government really creative until name it SPR.....

But never mind, with my full determination and my loso kungfu. Think is no problem for me to educate these people. Its just like Malaysia stock during 1997 and I will be d savior to bring these students towards Malaysia 2020. Haha...Then I can become si beh lihai teacher lia...


I teach and teach every day, loso as much as possible.....Finally exam coming and I am so excited to mark my paper. While I look through the paper, I wonder how come d paper is so clean and just like brand new. Walao, are these students answering or not? Why look like playing Toto, cincai put one number and hope will kena 1. So you know la, gambling 10 times sure 9 time is losing. So every 10 papers I mark, only 1 survivor......That night I mark till my cold sweat also come out....Die lia, I wonder am I teaching properly or not....


So in d next day, I quick quick do some investigation to see whether other classes did that bad as well. End up, it has been like this for almost seven years lia....OMG, how to become savior ? Recently my school is top 4 again but counted from behind.....Haiz, how loso teacher going to win this tough battle?

The day is coming

Haha...Can you guess which day Mr Loso most fear of? Try think what day will make a new teacher like me feel so uncomfortable. May be you will think of government interview, exam and other stuff that I have it all done d....Haha...

Well, it is d day seeing parents la. Its not my first time though but I am still kinda blur to say anything to parents. If I loso too much, may be both the student and parent feel so sien. If I didn't loso out d truth, I feel so wrong also... Haiz, still consider what to say seeing all the marks red red like that...

Just to let you know how poor these students did for study. Out of the whole class 37 students, only 3 manage to pass mathematics. So, here I put some option la...Pls do help me to pick 1.

Should I say
A. Encik, anak encik ada sikit "______", banyak kena usaha lagi...Belajar kuat kuat.

Or

B. Saya tengok anak encik memang ada usaha tapi nampaknya usahanya tak cukup lagi, kena banyak lagi usaha.

Or

C. Anak encik suka cakap dalam kelas, rokok, pukul, kerja rumah tak buat dan apa tak diajar semua pandai tapi hanya study tak pandai.

Or

D. Saya rasa anak encik perlu fikir baik-baik sama ada dia ni mau belajar, asyik kacau kawan dan tidak bekejasama semasa P&P.


Haha...If I pick C or D, think I will create more enemy than friends. So most probably I think I will pick A or B. But this some what not saying the truth about d student's behavior. What do you think? Should I speak d truth or not?

Mr Loso loso finish liao.....

Walk one step see one step….
Mr Loso come out loso again….Long long time ago before Mr Loso turn into Loso Teacher…I use to dream driving BMW, Mercedes, Sport car and bla bla bla…

These are what I called car...........

Now I end up driving Proton Saga which I last time name it 笨蛋傻瓜 or it means stupid egg dumb melon ……!@#$%^&*



Living in big house and no worry for $$$....In fact now I everyday need to save $$$, safe safe spend so that I not pokai end of the month…Pay my poor car spend almost half my pay, not to say the car I dream of….Haha…..Why different so much from dream one?
Feel much better after loso out....Haha

Some funny and interesting commercials....Can't stop laughing..

Take a look at these funny commercials


Kung Fu Baby



Thailand style Forest Gump



Funny baby

Funny scene capture
Haha...See this ex president read book...


See the bottom...Got hand phone...

During those time got aeroplane already.....


Do you think you can shoot without pulling trigger???
Cut cut cut...Hide your watch la...

These the reasons why teachers so stressful nowadays......

Tips for a better life......
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

人 啊！

沒錢的時候， 養豬；
有錢的時候，養狗。

沒錢的時候，在家裡吃野菜；
有錢的時候，在酒店吃野菜。

沒錢的時候，在馬路上騎自行車；
有錢的時候，在客廳裡騎自行車。

沒錢的時候想結婚；
有錢的時候想離婚。

沒錢的時候老婆兼秘書；
有錢的時候秘書兼老婆。

沒錢的時候假裝有錢；
有錢的時候假裝沒錢。

人 啊，都不講實話：

說股票是毒品，都在玩；
說金錢是罪惡，都在撈；

說美女是禍水，都想要；
說 高處不勝寒，都在爬；

說煙酒傷身體，就不戒；
說天堂最美好，都不去!!!

當今 社會，窮吃肉，富吃蝦，領導幹部吃王八；
男想高，女想瘦，狗穿衣裳人露肉；

過去把第一次留給 丈夫；
現在把第一胎留給丈夫。

鄉下早晨雞叫人，
城裡晚上 人叫雞；

舊社會戲子賣藝不賣身，
新社會演員賣身不賣藝。


人生是什麼?
只 用 了 4 4 個 字 , 就 把 人 生 講 完 了 ...
所 以 人 與 人 , 有 啥 好 計 較 的 咧 ?
快樂好相處比較重要啦！

1 歲 時 出場亮相
10 歲 時 功課至上
20 歲 時 春心盪漾
30 歲 時 職場對抗
40 歲 時 身材發胖
50 歲 時 打 打麻將
60 歲 時 老當益壯
70 歲 時 常常健忘
80 歲 時 搖搖晃晃
90 歲 時 迷失方向
100 歲 時 掛在牆上

祝大家愉快，好好做人!

LOVE
爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
不论做什么事情，
只要能一起，就是好的，
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点，
於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，
总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？
*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的，
很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气，
与其到处去捡未知的石头，
还不如好好的将?


*在某个聚餐的场合, 有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好， 这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！ 现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！

*听到了吗？明白了吗？
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都
懒得讲话、
懒得倾听、
懒得制造惊喜、
懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间，
又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？
所以请记住：
有活力的爱情，
是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，
谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了， 当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟， 他的男朋友很不高兴的说： 你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了， 我以後再也不会等你了！ 刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了， 她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境； 女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！ 接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上， 此刻，女孩流泪了, 但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？
*其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！

爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时， 很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！
懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
那并不代表你会选择他。
*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，
你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发 觉而已呢？
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！
他或许已经等你很久喽！

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来， 完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

*所以请记住，
喝酒不要超过六分醉，
吃饭不要超过七分饱，
爱一个人不要超过八分

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。那就糟糕了！

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：
爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求，
而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

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Good Jokes ~

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Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ah Kau: $10. Teacher: You don't know Maths. Ah Kau: You don't know my father la! Mother: David, come here. David: Yes, mum. Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David: But but but....I will only get my report card tomorrow ??? Mother: I know that, but I'm going Hong Kong tomorrow so I'm scolding you now. Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test? Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8 Father: So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. If she can't make up her mind, how I know the right answer one ??? Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Yes Dear. Girl: Would you die for me? Boy: No la, mine is undying love only ! Man: How old is your father? Boy: Same as me la. Man: How can that be? Boy: He only became a father when I born lo! Teacher: Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Simon: No la, teacher. It's the same dog! Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I tell you she's no good! Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Singapore , Sir. Teacher: Which part? Student: All part of my body lo. A boy came home from school with his exam results. Father: What did you get? Boy: My marks are under water. Father: What do you mean 'under water' ? Boy: They are all below 'C' (sea) level lo.